There are many detox retreats throughout the country, but one of the best is in French Lick, Indiana, near the heart of the Midwest, a.k.a., Heart Attack Alley.To get the most out of your experience, I recommend binging on potatoes, and cheese, and potatoes covered in cheese, and when you can no longer pry your stomach loose from below the steering wheel, head on over to Detox Oasis.
As a complimentary service they keep on hand the Jaws of Life. Detox Oasis is a strong proponent of wheat grass and liquid meals, and nature, and nightly movies about wheat grass, and walks through the woods where you can see Robins and Blue Jays eating succulent, tantalizing worms, where you might witness a murder of crows tearing apart a rotting carcass and you think to yourself, sipping your wheat grass smoothie, “how can I get some of that?” Truly for anyone lacking the will power to “DROP THAT LAST FRENCH FRY!”
Detox Oasis is the gentle drill master to whip you into shape, at least until the next high fructose, highly saturated backslide.
$1500 or more per week. Visit www.detoxoasis.net