On Travel, Press Trips and the Dangers of FOMO
The recent piece in The New York Times on the 'Fear of Missing Out" feelings induced by social media channels has led me thinking about the travel blogging community and the travel world in general. I've interrupted my scheduled posts on Carmel to discuss and give some thought to this matter.
FOMO is especially prevalent in travel because social media channels are filled with tweets and blog posts about a traveler's sexy location. While it can be liberating to live vicariously through another's posts, it can also be detrimental to one's well being to experience the feelings of envy and at times, inadequacy.
Sometimes, it's the feeling that "everyone else" is visiting cool destinations except you. This feeling is completely human, but it can't let you take the focus of being a writer. I don't want to sound like a philosopher, but if we can take the emphasis away from the emotion and learn from others' social media experiences, the outcome can be a lot healthier.
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I'll tell you right off the bat that yes, I've dreamed of visiting places and traveling around the world without a care in the world, but I also know myself well enough to know that if I do anything just "to be cool" or what "everyone else is doing," I end up being very unhappy. I like my trips to really be well though out, planned and documented. I'm rarely a "spur of the moment" type of person although I'm learning to let go a little.
I think what FOMO does is to take away from the main objective of being a writer: writing. I often turn to Rilke when I'm looking at some of my "meaningless" activities: if you're a writer, your job is to find richness in everything; you have only yourself to blame if you can't.
Trips to rich and distant lands don't necessarily produce the best stories. If we've embarked upon the blogging journey, shouldn't our job be to enjoy and document travel stories anywhere? Does it have to be on a glorious press trip to Alaska to see the Aurora Borealis (I'm not disputing this would be cool) or at the Monte Carlo Grand Prix?
Don't get me wrong, I've gone on more than my fair share of trips and I've loved every minute of it. The traveler in me comes alive when I learn a new fact, a bit about history, and meet new people. All these aspects give me that inexplicable feeling that belongs in the territory of joy. And if you don't go out there and carpe the world, how else can you document the latest and greatest?
I maintain that while social media is the best thing that has happened to travel, it can take the focus away from the reason we signed up to be writers in the first place, and put the focus on the cool factor, and trying to be the cool traveler on the block. I see it on Twitter all the time. Who's been to more than 50 countries? Who's stayed at the best hotels? Who's had an elephant bring them bagels for breakfast?
(For the record, I would love an elephant to bring me bagels for breakfast).
If you have a day job, or don't have the dollars to travel, reading is an excellent way to relax and journey with your mind. I'm in the middle of reading Eat, Pray, Love and love the narrative. After traveling non stop for three weeks, it was relaxing to come home and unwind by reading rather than writing.
Of late, I've tried to incorporate daily reading into my schedule so I can enjoy and learn the writing techniques. If the major part of 2010 was spent surfing Twitter and traveling, the major part of 2011 will be spent reading and traveling. I've found that this combination really works well for me, because I've missed reading the classics and the new book releases. In fact, reading significantly reduces FOMO (while surfing social media channels can increase it). Part of the fact may be that with reading, you don't always know the writer personally, so you can simply "enjoy" the journey.
If life becomes a FOMO experience, you're not really living. I think the easiest way to get sidetracked from a goal or vision is to see what everyone else is doing and beat yourself up that you're not part of the cool crowd. It can be disastrous to productivity and to your energy. Perspective then, is everything.
I'm still waiting for the day when I can write sentences a la Hemingway, like these:
"They sailed well and the old man soaked his hands in the salt water and tried to keep his head clear. There were high cumulus clouds and enough cirrus above them so that the old man knew the breeze would last all night. The old man looked at the fish constantly to make sure it was true. It was an hour before the first shark hit him."
This excerpt is from one of my favorite books, The Old Man and the Sea. Hemingway has been a big influence in my writing life and my goal for 2011 is to make my prose tougher, terser, more vivid. True, he was an avid traveler, but his ability to make the even the smallest action come alive by describing every minute detail makes me realize that one does not have to journey to Jerusalem to write impeccable prose.
I've received emails and queries in the past from some of my friends about the trips I've been on; naturally, inquiring minds want to know where I am and what I'm doing. I LOVE sharing this information with my readers. I want to go above and beyond the call of duty by tweeting pictures, posting tidbits of information and blog posts. But since media trips are often themed and small, not everyone can be invited. It's important to document, and not elicit FOMO when tweeting and blogging.
Good travel writing also needs to have depth. I can show you some jaw-dropping travel stories about the simplest subjects (e.g. John McPhee's essay on Oranges) that have convinced me that one can construct a travel masterpiece on any subject, not necessarily on a topic along the lines of "The World's Most Expensive Hotel Room." One of the engaging essays I've read was on a very simple topic by Unbravegirl, on the magic of spinach-artichoke dip. That post had me in splits!
In the end, FOMO does not contribute to self discovery and self knowledge, which I really think is one of the most important aspects of travel. If I don't believe in something, I'm apt to write passages with the strength of weak tea (the "third dunk of the teabag" effect). Not very sexy, is it?
- Charu Suri
So true Charu and so well written!
Thanks Uma! We live in such a “temptation filled” world that often we lose sight of perspective. I do love Twitter and the social media channels but finding out one’s true “values” is harder now than ever.
Excellent food for thought…..
Thanks Elizabeth! I loved your recent piece on Westin La Cantera on The striped Pot. You summed everything up so nicely my dear.
Thought provoking piece, Charu. I never heard of FOMO before- clearly, I live under a rock. FOMO has never enters into my travel decisions- (it might for a restaurant- as I love food and always want to know what the buzz is about). I have a list of the places I'd like to visit- it's open to additions, not change so much, barring a natural disaster that might substantially change the area. So FOMO is not a factor for me. But then, I've always marched to the sound of my own drummer-lol.
You are ahead of the pack in your “zen-ness” Billie!
How true! That is the essence of freedom: that first moment you can say, "How important is it?" and go happily on your own way.
The “essence of freedom”– exactly. It lies in ourselves.
Excellent piece! I feel the same way about reading too. When I'm reading more, I definitely see an improvement in my writing and creative spirit.
I just need to set some time every day to read. I used to read a lot in college but stopped until recently. Glad you liked this piece Randy!
"…one can construct a travel masterpiece on any subject…"
So true. At times I am called to pause and ponder the very best of whatever is in front of me right now. In the present moment.
How often the hurried rush about leaves me wishing for the "other" – that thing or experience or place that I am without. What freedom, though, to release the FOMO and instead embrace deeply the unique day that I am gifted to live for the next 24 hours.
Lovely piece. Thank you.
My travel writing eyes opened wide with McPhee. Genius writer! So glad you liked the piece, and many thanks for stopping by.
I just read this post and LOVE it. I definitely struggle with FOMO when it comes to travel. Obviously the main issue is that I love travel and am a little jealous of those who do it 24/7 (although at the same time, I don't think I'd like to quit my job and travel non-stop for a year or more because I like having a home base), but I'll admit that there's some ego at stake too. Growing up, I was always the one in my peer group who'd been to the most countries, and I incorporated that sense of feeling widely-traveled into my image of myself. Now I know people who've been to 2, 3 or 4 times as many countries as I have (if not more!), and suddenly I'm feeling like the kid in high school who'd only ever been to Mexico and haven't quite gotten used to the change yet.
Thanks Emily! I think it does make sense given we live in a time where there are TOO many temptations. One trip per year that is immensely fulfilling and memorable are worth more than a million that yield the traditional “awesome” post.
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Charu, just spent quite a while becoming acquainted with your blog. I find your writing to be eloquent, insightful and honest. Looking forward to future posts!
So lovely of you to give it a read. Much appreciated! I look so very much to catching up with you tomorrow and hear all about Turkey!
Wow…I loved this post. It really got me thinking about many things. I agree with you re: FOMO and also destinations vs experiences, etc. If one is not careful, one can get sucked into FOMO thinking and that's not good. Glad I read this because it reminds me not to succumb to various travel peer pressures or to buy in to certain types of thinking. Thank you!